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Friday, October 17, 2008

My Big Life, part 1

It seems like overnight everything has changed though I know it's been a long time coming. It was around 1999, I had just gotten divorced and had that weird, worn spot on my finger, that reverse tan line where my rather large diamond had been for quite some time made me feel so naked and exposed. Like I needed to explain. Like I needed a new SUV. Who needed a man when a Range Rover can navigate the road, hold my cup and even warm my seat? I ditched the ring, got the rig. It felt good to be up high, knowing that I could crush a Kia if I ever needed to.
But it wasn't enough, now I needed more big things. An enormous bag, the biggest I could find, a Balenciaga Motorcycle Bag, large enough to hold a small motorcycle. Four inch Prada platform boots made it easier to climb in and out of my new home away from home.I didn't stop there. My house needed to be pushed up and pushed out to make room for all my big stuff. Two sinks, a steam shower, the biggest flat screen, California King, double walk-in closet. Suddenly everything in my life was super-sized.
When servicing my monster truck (which was often)they'd usually give me an equally sized loaner. I'd just take all my bags and phones and boxes and empty super venti cups and toss them into the rental. This one particular day, however, they only had this tiny toy car, a Mini Cooper. I could fit this whole car into my car. I took my boots off and crawled down inside.

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